In my continuing effort to give an equal voice to people I
disagree with, I’ve opened up my blog to another guest writer this week. As most of us that have the ability to read
already know, North Carolina and its voters have decided that they needed an
amendment to protect people from marrying other people that they love…unless
they are of the opposite sex. It was
perplexing to me only because I possess logic, intelligence, and have the
ability to make rational decisions (and that is my burden to bear). I wanted to hear from one of the supporters
of the amendment but I didn’t just want it to be some random voter plucked off
the street. I wanted someone who was
deep into the crevice of the fight to keep marriage straight. I met with Harry Axelrod of the group, Protecting
Marriage’s Sanctity, and asked him if he would like a forum. I explained that my readers love to hear from
different views and that I was sure that he would be welcomed with open
arms. Mr. Axelrod founded his group in
2001 when he first feared the possibility of gay people marrying and he is
stationed out of Eureka, North Carolina.
So without further ado, I present
Harry Axelrod.
We dodged a bullet the other day America. North Carolina and the rest of the great
Southern states were under attack and we prevailed….for now. The gays were trying to get married in our
great state. I know it sounds
preposterous but it’s true. Some of the
liberal left will try to tell you that there is no harm in letting them
marry. They will say that it really
shouldn’t bother anyone if gays marry.
Well I wanted to take this time and this opportunity to tell you why you
should care and why gay men in love with other gay men getting married are
dangerous.
Number one, and I think this is well known and obvious but I
still need to address it, gay marriage will ultimately destroy the sanctity of
marriage. Why? Because ultimately my marriage, your marriage,
and every other church sanctioned man-woman marriage will be considered
void. And this is what the gays
want. They don’t want to marry each
other out of the pure love for one another.
They don’t want to be considered equals and share their lives together
like every other American citizen has the right to. No, they want to make sure all of our REAL
marriages are destroyed. Just look at
it. Let’s say that Bobby is married to
Peggy. They have a white house with a
picket fence, two children, and a dog.
They are America’s standard, but if gay marriage were legalized Bobby
would leave Peggy, change his name to Roberto, wear earrings, and marry Joey
the plumber and Peggy dies on an overdose of Xanax and Jim Beam and the
children will have no parents. That’s
what the gays want to do to our beautiful institution of marriage. Gays want to leave a trail of depressed dead
women and orphans.
Number two, gays want to eradicate the human race. It’s a well-known fact that gay people will
only raise gay children (if they are allowed to marry and adopt) and that will
just cause a further epidemic of gayness.
Pretty soon everyone will be gay-married, because the gay kids will
marry one another, no one will be able to reproduce because there is no womb in
a man’s rectum, and the human race will be extinct like the dinosaurs. Gays are to the human race what premarital
sex is to a promising future…you can’t have both. And just think about it a little further,
when no babies are being born, there will be no need for schools which will
leave millions of unemployed teachers.
Gays hate teachers and education.
Gaydom is trying to tear down our society.
I could easily list at least 985,987 different bullet points
as to how gay marriage will thrust a hot poker of death in the anus of America,
but I don’t believe you want to sit here and read that much. I think that in your souls that you know that
allowing two human beings who are in love with each other to enter into a
committed union together is the last thing that our nation needs. We need to stop it. We don’t need to worry about unemployment, health
care, social security, or national defense.
All of that will take care of itself once we stop gay people from
marrying each other because as science (and by science I mean Pat Robertson and
the late Jerry Falwell) tells us, gays are the reason for every bad thing that
has happened to America…ever. If we can
eliminate gay marriage, we can ultimately break the will of all of these gays
and turn straight in despair. They will
have no choice but to be straight once we deny them the right to marriage. I know this because science also tells us
that being gay is a choice, so if one can choose to be gay then they can choose
to be straight as well. So join me and
my fellow members of PMS to march on Washington to demand that our bill for
marriage protection be brought to Congress and Senate. I have drafted a bill in my spare time
between teaching kindergarteners that will ultimately put this gay marriage
issue to rest. It’s called Defending the
Union of Marriage Bill or DUMB for short.
My bill, if passed or even considered, will make it a federal offense to
even try to get gay-married, it will abolish all the so called “unions” granted
by the devil states before, and it will rescue all the children adopted by the
well to do, rich gay couples and place them in loving orphanages run by my
wife, Lucy Axelrod. We can save this
country, we can all follow the steps of North Carolina and their progressive
stance. I urge you all to write your Congressmen
and demand that PMS should be heard and that you support DUMB. Thank you.
