Why Romney is Not the Answer: Part 2 - RomneyBot No Like Gay Marriage

Many people are still on the fence about the upcoming election. Luckily for you, I am here. I want to guide you into making the right decision for you and your beliefs. I certainly won't tell you who to vote for. I simply want to get the facts out to my readers and the most efficient way to do it is to focus on one candidate at a time and as of right now, Mittens Romney is the target...err, I mean subject. In my previous post, (which you can find here) I explained Romney's position on medical marijuana. However, through careful research I actually learned more than just his position on keeping marijuana illegal but his support for dangerous synthetic marijuana known as "Spice" and his support and financial interest in addictive painkillers. But now it's time to move forward and learn more about our friend, Mittens. Let's see how he feels about homosexuals and their rights. Come on, it'll be fun!!

　

Unless you've been living in solitary confinement for the past couple of years, you know that the issue of gay marriage is a huge hot button topic for politicians to play with. Mittens is certainly no stranger to the notion of "playing" with the topic. Romney not only has played with the topic of gay rights but he has literally played the gay community. In 1994 when a young Romney was running for the Senate seat in Massachusetts, he seemed to be a Republican champion of gay rights. (I know it's a complete definition of oxymoron, right?) He wrote a letter to the Log Cabin Republicans outlining how important he believed gay rights to be and for proof here are some excerpts or for the full text click here :

• As a result of our discussions and other interactions with gay and lesbian voters across the state, I am more convinced than ever that as we seek to establish full equality for America's gay and lesbian citizens

• If we are to achieve the goals we share, we must make equality for gays and lesbians a mainstream concern.

• I think the gay community needs more support from the Republican Party and I would be a voice in the Republican Party to foster anti-discrimination efforts

See?  It's pink.  How clever of Mittens.

Believe it or not, these are real things that Romney said. Allow me to blow your mind a little more. During the 2002 Pride Week gathering in Massachusetts, Romney's crew of propaganda spreaders passed out flyers in support of the gay community. Mittens played it to the gay community that he was truly for them and their rights to life, liberty, and a fabulous time.  Now keep in mind, never in this time did he come out and say he was for or against gay marriage...exactly.  He eluded to his oppositon of it a lot and was even okay with the whole civil ceremony thing and domestic partnership.

Now I've told you all this and I left it at that you would probably think, "Mittens seems to be okay with the gay community.  What's you deal, Sleepy?  Why are you picking on poor Mittens?"  Well, because this position of good times and "full equality" didn't last.  Surprise!!!  A politician didn't keep his word!! 

In a 2008 interview with Chris Matthews on his show "Hardball",  Romney was asked where he stood on gay marriage and civil unions, an answer we all probably already knew but it was fun to ask.  Romney's response was a little more than what was expected, "Well, I would rather have neither, to tell you the truth. I'd rather that domestic partner benefits, such as hospital - hospital visitation rights for same-sex couples. I don't want civil unions or gay marriage.  But there is a difference, even when just the word is the difference. And the difference is that, if you indicate as a society that you're indifferent between a same-sex couple marrying and a heterosexual couple marrying, then it means our schools and other institutions are going to have to indicate that there is no difference whatsoever, and that obviously has societal consequences that are important."  Wow!!!  So now Romney is not only afraid of gays marrying, he's also afraid of them having a civil union.  He's terrified that kids in school will be to dumb to understand and the underpaid teachers will not be able to articulate the difference between gay marriage and hetero-marriage.  Oh dear God on planet Kolob, what will we do?!?!? 

So obviously there was a shift in Romney's ideology or he was full of shit to begin with.  How can one going from a champion of gay rights to a regular run of the mill, narrow-minded homophobe?  Well, it's one of two things in my opinion.  Number one, he never believed in gay rights to begin with and was only pandering to the homosexual community in Massachusetts.  Or number two, he found out from the Supreme Overlords of the GOP that gay rights will not be tolerated if he wants to be president. I think it's probably a healthy dose of both.  He has made sure to keep very consistent with his stance on gay marriage over the past few years...almost as if he is memorizing words from a script.  "Marriage is between a man and a woman...I do not support gay marriage"  He says these things in such a monotone, almost robotic manner it makes me question his humanity.  If you listen or watch closely when Romney is introduced to a hot topic like gay marriage or marijuana laws, you can see him almost shift into Romney-bot mode.  He is lost for his own words and reverts back to the GOP script handed to him by one of Dick Cheney's satanic minions.  Here is a great example: 
                                                                                            
I'll let you catch your breath from the uncomfortable laughter that probably just spewed from your soul.  Once Romney figured out the hard-grizzled veteran was a man-loving homosexual, he switched to Romney-bot mode.  He restated his weak stance, smiled and walked away as quickly as possible.  If you watched the video from the first Romney blog when he talked to the medical marijuana patient, you'll notice that he did the same exact thing.

It is clear that when it comes to any social issues that Romney does not have any clear personal opinions, he is strictly towing the GOP party line. 

Ok, so I've presented a couple of examples and you're probably thinking, "So is that it?"  Nope I wanted to share a quote from his failed 2008 Presidential bid too and see if you, dear reader, could take away what I did from it.  "My view on marriage has been entirely consistent over my political career. And that is that I oppose same-sex marriage. I also oppose civil unions . . . ever since [same-sex marriage] became a prominent feature in my state, with the decision of the Supreme Judicial Court, I have taken every action that I could conceive of within the bounds of the law to defend traditional marriage and to stop same-sex marriage . . . I've been to Washington to testify in favor of traditional marriage. I've written a letter to every U.S. senator on the topic . . . I believe that traditional marriage is right for the nurturing and development of children" 

To me it is always curious when I see such strong language used when opposing gay marriage.  In his mini-tirade, Mittens states that he took every action that he could concieve to stop gay marriage.  Now why is this?  Well, I always like to fantasize that people who talk like that are hiding something.  Is there some illicit past rendezous in Mitten's past that he is ashamed of?  Is he scared that perhaps if gay marriage is enacted that he will be enticed to leave Mrs. Romney and marry Marcus Bachmann?  Or as Joe Rogan has stated on his podcast before when talking about people like Romney or Santorum, that "maybe they are terrified that dicks are delicous"?  I'm not sure but I would never fight an issue that had nothing to do with me.

I could understand if politicians were trying to ban free speech.  If there was no free speech I certainly couldn't be doing what I'm doing here.  I would be arrested and thrown into Guantanamo Bay.  I would fight that tooth and nail.  Or if a law was trying to get passed that had some deep-seeded issue that could really effect my soul like...well, I don't know because I'm pretty open about everything.  That's why it is so curious to me why these politicians fight issues that in no way can personally effect or harm them or any of their followers.  I'm kind of in line with Rogan on this one, perhaps they are scared that if homosexuality becomes too widely accepted that they will be enticed into succumbing to their desires and go down on the first man that they see. 

"Save the Babies" by guest writer, Mr. Santorum

I've heard that it's a good thing to allow people with opposing views or different perspectives to write on your blogs every now and then.  It's a way to keep you in check and see things in a different light.  So when Mr. Santorum recently contacted me about writing an article I was at first a little skeptical but I thought he should have his fair say.  So I gave him a spot today and out of the kindness of my heart I even made him some campaign posters as well.  Enjoy!

Hello America, I wanted to take this time to discuss something very near and dear to my heart with you today and before I get started I just wanted to extend my thanks to Grumpy, a true American, for giving me a voice on his blog.

We are not doing enough to stop this outrageous birth control nonsense.  We are limiting ourselves to standing outside the White House, writing our senators, and holding up signs of dead fetuses outside of abortion clinics.  Those liberals are trying to steal our rights to make babies.  Obama doesn’t want you to have babies.  He wants to crawl inside of every uterus across this great nation and poison it with chemical baby-melters that attack the man’s precious life giving seed.  We need to send the message to Washington that we will not participate in this government sanctioned genocide.  But we are still missing something, there is a bigger threat that’s being ignored.

We don’t need to just protest the abortion clinics, we don’t need to simply protest the birth control mandate, we need to bring our strength and our voices down to a micro-level.  What I’m asking you Americans to do is take to the streets, go to the Wal-Marts, the Walgreens, Targets, and any other place that sells the deadly, dangerous baby catchers known as condoms and demand that they be taken off the shelves.  That’s right America, you haven’t even looked at the bigger picture.  Everyday men across this great nation of ours are putting on these devices to prevent making sweet precious babies.  Where is the outrage over that?  Shouldn’t we be just as up in arms over the sale of these latex weapons of mass destruction as we are over Obama’s uterus invasion?  Yes we should!!  We can no longer stand idly by while men everywhere are out there buying these semen incinerators.  I want Durex, Trojan, and Magnum to hear the voice of America.  I want them to know that we abhor their practices and their products.  I want to see every American holding up signs of cute little babies outside of Wal-Mart.  Let our voices be heard!!

I will be proposing a bill to outlaw any waste of reproductive resources to help stop this terrible practice.  Children are our future and as we all know there are simply too few people out there reproducing and making new ones.  I know that the liberal media will talk about overpopulation and population control.  What a bunch of poppycock!!  There can never be enough of these adorable little bundles of money hungry joy.  Babies keep America running.  What are we going to tell the hard working people at Gerber and Pampers when they have no more babies to feed or catch poop?  Without these babies, billions of people would be out of work.  It’s not a theory, it’s a fact.  I would even call it science, if I believed in that type of thing.  People that want any sort of population control are just trying to steal your freedom of loving babies.  Do you want to live in that type of America?  I know I don’t.  So in my proposed bill, the National Defense of Baby Production Freedom Act, I will attempt to put a stop to these filthy condoms, these chemical bombs called birth control, abortion, and any other medieval contraption or practice that keeps  new babies from entering this fantastic world of ours.  You might be asking yourself right now, “Mr. Santorum, what about the practice of men spilling their seed or women menstruating?”  Well, I’ve got that written into my bill, friend.  Under my proposed law, any man caught or rumored to be pleasuring himself without the presence of his wife will be breaking the law and subject to fines and even jail time if he’s a multiple offender.  As for women’s menstruation, I have scientists working on a process, that will be mandated, that will eliminate the woman’s need to menstruate.  I’m not sure what all that will entail, but I’ve been assured that it will be 100% safe and effective. 

So what am I asking you to do America?  It’s simple.  Organize, protest, sign petitions, and when my bill comes up for the vote I want you out in the streets again campaigning for it.  Let all the naysaying baby-haters know the truth, show them the err of their ways, lead them to the ballot box, show them where to check “yes”, and show them what freedom is all about. 

The "Unwritten" Rules to Run for Politcal Office

It doesn't matter, mythical creatures
never get elected.

Rules to Run for Political Office

There are many accepted norms and expectations we have for the fine, upstanding citizens that run for political office like; lower taxes, create jobs, better education, love gay people (Democratic nominees only), oppose gay people (GOP nominees only), and other basic principles but often overlooked are the unspoken rules.  This year as I’ve watched all of the GOP madness, I have seen so many of these unspoken rules broken or simply discarded.  I wanted to offer my assistance and finally put in print three of the principal rules amongst the many that have to be followed in order to get in.

1.       Disguise your hate speech!!

I know that this sounds like pure common sense but many of these politicos simply have brain farts and blab out crazy things like “gays are trying to steal Christmas” or “slavery kept black families together” or referring to the sitting president as a “tar baby”.  If one wants to run for office in this day and time they cannot be so overtly racist, they have to have the “subtlety of racism” as Jimmy Carter described Newt Gingrich when he made reference to our “food stamp president” and all of the “welfare mommas” out there.  Although to me, Jimmy, that doesn’t sound all that subtle.  Or you could make the ultimate mistake, you could say such outlandish, overt, over-the-top crazy homophobic statements like Rick Santorum and forever have your name associated with lube and fecal matter (http://spreadingsantorum.com/ check it out if you don’t know what I’m talking about).  If you use to much of this rhetoric you are going to wind up like Bachmann and Perry, you will have to drop out because you’ve made it too obvious.  Sure they are fine with their actual views, but they sure wish they’d find a way not to make it a little more subtle.

2.       Take care of your mistresses!!

This rule used to be at the forefront of our politicians’ and public figures’ agendas.  John F. Kennedy knew how to keep the ladies quiet and satisfied.  You didn’t see every cocktail waitress that gave him a handy run to the press or file a lawsuit.  No, politicians of the old era knew that keeping their affairs quiet and private so of the upmost importance.  Abraham Lincoln knew that he couldn’t go prancing about the streets of Washington with his boy-toys, he kept it on the hush and his male companions knew the score too.  Now?  They have all forgotten this rule.  I think it probably started with Clinton forgetting to call Monica back; a woman doesn’t like to be ignored.  A woman scorned is just as dangerous as a politician with a bad idea.  Herman Cain’s downfall was his love of the ladies and his complete inability to keep them quiet.  Cain went about it all wrong, he was trying to force girls’ heads into his lap and shove his hand up their skirts.  Herman, women don’t like that.  Of course they are going to talk if you do pull some rapist moves like that.  But let’s say that you want to run for office and you are having a non-rapist like sexual affair with a woman or man that you are not married to; what do you do then?  How do you keep them quiet?  I’ll tell you.  Don’t make them any promises that you can’t uphold, tell them upfront what the affair really is, explain the need for discretion, and if they are not okay with any of that, well, you’ll have to kill them.  Or maybe you could just not have the affair.  Either one will work.

3.       Take the skeletons out of the closet and bury them.

I know, this seems obvious too but these new politicians seem to forget it.  Not only are they forgetting to bury their skeletons, some actually flaunt them.  My favorite example of this phenomenon this season was Michele Bachmann and her husband.  Michele not only forgot to hide her obvious self-hating homosexual husband but actually flaunted him around as one of her political strategists.  (http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2011/06/29/257646/bachmanns-husband-calls-homosexuals-barbarians-who-need-to-be-educated-and-disciplined/?mobile=nc)  It’s really not a problem of him being gay; it’s the part where he is a doctor with a clinic dedicated to rehabilitating barbaric gays into respectable hetero heroes.  Instead of flaunting him around and putting him at the forefront of her campaign, she should have sent him on a yearlong vacation to Thailand with a ladyboy and denied his existence.  Rick Perry forgot to literally bury that “Niggerhead” rock on his hunting ranch.  He said he painted over it, but that is one of the skeletons that could have easily been buried or blown up.  As a politician, one has to learn that all the embarrassing things of one’s past must be hidden and if it is still discovered try to come up with a better story than “I painted over it”. 

Of course there are other's like:  Don't forget to lie but wrap it with truth, Make Big Promises that you can never back up, and many others.

If you've made it this far do me a favor, if you like what I do and want to help out go to my Facebook fan page at http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Grumpy-Cynical-Thirtysomething/184495148315820 and give me a like, it will make me like you that much more.