I love technology. My family loves technology. Chances are that if you're reading this, you like technology as well. However, every now and then technology doesn't quite fit in to parts of our lives. For example, using your iPhone to check e-mail, Facebook, listen to
Stitcher, and play Angry birds while hanging out at home or the office is good. Doing all the exact same things while sitting behind the wheel of your car and driving is far less good. But the line between good uses of technology and bad uses isn't always as clear. Take texting for instance, I was not that keen on texting when it first started being used a few years ago. My phone didn't have one of those nifty QWERTY keyboards on it and I had to do the texting old school style by repeatedly hitting the number. Besides the tediousness of texting back then, I also didn't like the part where it was so impersonal. If I was already using the phone and the person I was texting was going to be using their phone to receive my message, shouldn't we just call each other? Also, do you remember how much of a freaking bill you could rack up? If you didn't have a "texting" package on your phone, you could be hit with a charge of .10 to .15 cents per message sent or received. I remember working for Cingular back in like 2006 and I would get all of these angry calls from parents that were dumb enough to give their kid a phone without a package on it complaining about a $500 charge for texting. (I sympathized with them and would usually just credit it off by the way.) Eventually I came around like every other person under the age of 60 and started texting in the past 3 or 4 years. I still don't like it unless it's something quick like, "Hey, we still meeting later?" or "I'll call you back". I never think it's a good idea to communicate anything of any sort of importance for the greatest reason of all:
The intended message can be lost in the message. When reading a text, since it is usually short and imprecise, the reader is not able to hear the emotion or the inflections of the senders voice. So often the intent of a message can be misinterpreted because of this, which brings me to my guest writer today, Murphy White. Murphy is a long time friend and the guy I would consider my best friend. He has recently went through "texting troubles" and wanted to share with me and the world (or the people who happen to read my blog). So here he is, everyone say hello to Murph.
Texting Sucks by Murphy White
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| Murphy White |
Sitting next to me, as I write this, sits my smartphone. I’d have to say that at least 90% of my generation have one. (I’m 32). They do a lot of really cool things but in my relationship experience, texting + relationship = disaster.
Using technology, for me, is great. I love gadgets. Since I was young I’ve always had a gaming console, TVs, stereos, and computers. Within a couple of years after high school, mobile phones were really starting to come into the picture. Everyone seemed to start getting one. It was freedom to stay in touch from anywhere. No more waiting at the house for phone calls trying to plan things or whatever.
Eventually text messaging came into existence. This spanned both mobile and computers. I remember AOL instant messenger vividly, and phones were getting “smarter” to accommodate text. Never again will society be the same, and with it, the change of the human psyche.
There’s a lot to be said about the power of text. It’s quick information delivered rapidly and can be used in many situations where talking isn’t appropriate. It allows you to multi-task at times. It can be good for making lists for others, plus I’m sure many other good reasons. However, in a relationship, it can spell for disaster. Let me emphasize, “can” though. I’m sure many healthy relationships can handle it, but in my experience it has been awful….and here’s why.
- The problem with text for me has been that it has no room for context or tone. Often times you can send what is a harmless, casual text, and it can be taken completely the wrong way. Case in point, recently I was texting a girl about having a talk she wanted to have with me, and my text apparently came across as “bossy” for some reason. I’ve had many other examples of this and I’m sure you may have some of your own.
- Text also brings with it a “curtain.” For some reason, and I don’t mean this applies to everyone, but text brings a certain sense of security. It allows you to be hidden from actual confrontation. I say confrontation, and it sometimes has a negative undertone, but what I really mean is a human connection like a face and/or voice. It allows certain people to hide behind their phone to avoid facing in person consequences like….reactions to what they are saying.Now sometimes….sometimes…you get a combo of both of the above. Sometimes people will avoid a phone call but will text you. Heaven forbid that you ask them why they just didn’t answer the phone and avoid a lengthy text session. This brings up my third point.
- Don’t EVER argue through text. This is about the worst thing to do, because when you are mad, you have the tendency to think faster than you can type. Not to mention you’re trying to respond to what they are telling you, which is often in the middle of what you are typing and is non-related. When this happens you have this jumble of topics you are trying to juggle all at the same time. Natural conversation goes out the window followed by frustration and sometimes….the end of the relationship.
This is what I plead for in the future:
Text messaging can only be used in certain situations like brief conversations, lists, or to be used in places where talking is inappropriate with arguing saved for a later time. Otherwise, answer my phone call.
Oh, and while I think tech stuff is great….we all need to get out a little more.
(As I check Facebook)
