Friday, March 30, 2012

"Save the Babies" by guest writer, Mr. Santorum

I've heard that it's a good thing to allow people with opposing views or different perspectives to write on your blogs every now and then.  It's a way to keep you in check and see things in a different light.  So when Mr. Santorum recently contacted me about writing an article I was at first a little skeptical but I thought he should have his fair say.  So I gave him a spot today and out of the kindness of my heart I even made him some campaign posters as well.  Enjoy!


Hello America, I wanted to take this time to discuss something very near and dear to my heart with you today and before I get started I just wanted to extend my thanks to Grumpy, a true American, for giving me a voice on his blog.
We are not doing enough to stop this outrageous birth control nonsense.  We are limiting ourselves to standing outside the White House, writing our senators, and holding up signs of dead fetuses outside of abortion clinics.  Those liberals are trying to steal our rights to make babies.  Obama doesn’t want you to have babies.  He wants to crawl inside of every uterus across this great nation and poison it with chemical baby-melters that attack the man’s precious life giving seed.  We need to send the message to Washington that we will not participate in this government sanctioned genocide.  But we are still missing something, there is a bigger threat that’s being ignored.

We don’t need to just protest the abortion clinics, we don’t need to simply protest the birth control mandate, we need to bring our strength and our voices down to a micro-level.  What I’m asking you Americans to do is take to the streets, go to the Wal-Marts, the Walgreens, Targets, and any other place that sells the deadly, dangerous baby catchers known as condoms and demand that they be taken off the shelves.  That’s right America, you haven’t even looked at the bigger picture.  Everyday men across this great nation of ours are putting on these devices to prevent making sweet precious babies.  Where is the outrage over that?  Shouldn’t we be just as up in arms over the sale of these latex weapons of mass destruction as we are over Obama’s uterus invasion?  Yes we should!!  We can no longer stand idly by while men everywhere are out there buying these semen incinerators.  I want Durex, Trojan, and Magnum to hear the voice of America.  I want them to know that we abhor their practices and their products.  I want to see every American holding up signs of cute little babies outside of Wal-Mart.  Let our voices be heard!!

I will be proposing a bill to outlaw any waste of reproductive resources to help stop this terrible practice.  Children are our future and as we all know there are simply too few people out there reproducing and making new ones.  I know that the liberal media will talk about overpopulation and population control.  What a bunch of poppycock!!  There can never be enough of these adorable little bundles of money hungry joy.  Babies keep America running.  What are we going to tell the hard working people at Gerber and Pampers when they have no more babies to feed or catch poop?  Without these babies, billions of people would be out of work.  It’s not a theory, it’s a fact.  I would even call it science, if I believed in that type of thing.  People that want any sort of population control are just trying to steal your freedom of loving babies.  Do you want to live in that type of America?  I know I don’t.  So in my proposed bill, the National Defense of Baby Production Freedom Act, I will attempt to put a stop to these filthy condoms, these chemical bombs called birth control, abortion, and any other medieval contraption or practice that keeps  new babies from entering this fantastic world of ours.  You might be asking yourself right now, “Mr. Santorum, what about the practice of men spilling their seed or women menstruating?”  Well, I’ve got that written into my bill, friend.  Under my proposed law, any man caught or rumored to be pleasuring himself without the presence of his wife will be breaking the law and subject to fines and even jail time if he’s a multiple offender.  As for women’s menstruation, I have scientists working on a process, that will be mandated, that will eliminate the woman’s need to menstruate.  I’m not sure what all that will entail, but I’ve been assured that it will be 100% safe and effective. 

So what am I asking you to do America?  It’s simple.  Organize, protest, sign petitions, and when my bill comes up for the vote I want you out in the streets again campaigning for it.  Let all the naysaying baby-haters know the truth, show them the err of their ways, lead them to the ballot box, show them where to check “yes”, and show them what freedom is all about. 

2 comments:

  1. People should be given the CHOICE to decide if they want to have kids because this is America where we have the freedom to speak and make our own choices. There are people out there who do want kids but choose to wait because they are financially struggling with this bad economy and can't afford to feed themselves let alone a kid. This 2012 not the 1800s where contraceptives were not heard of. Back then women had 8+ kids and barely survived on what little income they had. With this generation you can't expect that people are going to abstain from sex until they can afford to have kids. With the economy being as bad as it is I don't think it's fair to force people to have kids by taking away what could prevent them from having them and force people to have more financial debt than they already do. That put's the kid's own wellfare at risk too because if the parents who couldn't afford to feed their ownselves can't feed their kids then that hurts the kids! The cost of diapers these days are ridiculous as well as baby food and baby formula. What is your next idea you want to force America to go along with? Banning all baby formula so women will have no choice but to breast feed? Why don't you worry more about coming up with a plan to fix this economy instead of trying to force your ideas and feelings about birth control on a country that has the freedom to make that choice on their own. -Mindy Ray

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  2. Since after my many requests for my comment to be deleted it seems it isn't ever going to be, so I just wanted to say that I wrote this to the real Mr. Santorum and hoped that maybe one day he would see this blog and what I wrote. I am not an idiot and I know this blog isn't real. -Mindy

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