So My Wife Wanted Me to Make Her a "Period Playlist"

Recently my wife was watching the Ashton Kutcher/Natalie Portman movie "No Strings Attached" and was in love with the idea that at one point during the movie Kutcher's character makes Portman a mixed CD for her and her friends when they were on their period.  Although I think the movie itself is fairly terrible, I liked the idea but felt that Kutcher's songs were lacking.  Yes, they were clever titles such as U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday" and Frank Sinatra's "Life on a String" but I didn't feel that they quite captured the feelings of anger and resentment women display when they are shedding their uterine linings for nearly a solid week.  So my wife asked me, "Why don't you do something like that for me?  I'm special too."  I don't actually think she was serious but seeing that I am currently living in the emotional-rollercoaster-hell that is a woman's period I thought it would be a decent escape to put one together of my own choosing.

1. Chevelle "The Red"

Just change the male pronouns to female pronouns in this song and this is my perception of most women on their period (and for the record by "most women", I mean the two women I've lived with as an adult).

So lay down, the threat is real
When his (her) sight goes red again

This chorus details quite simply how I feel when I see my wife get mad while experiencing her own personal shark week in her pants.  I want to find the closest concealed dark corner of the house, assume the fetal position, and wait until it's over.

2.  L7 - "Shit List"

Through my extensive experience in living with a female for the past 12 or so odd years, I've taken notice that during the week of pelvic blood and thunder, the female species seems more apt to not only get generally angry but they tend to get more specifically angry.  I've seen my wife get emotionally enraged at people for very trivial things like the way someone looks at them or something that may have been done two months beforehand.  It doesn't matter.  It is easy for a menstruating woman to feel slighted.  During those 5-7 days a month, I really feel like she is writing out her own personal shit list of people who are pissing her off.

3.  Queens of the Stone Age - "Go with the Flow"

Yes it is a slight play on words for the whole "Aunt Flow" thing and the light/heavy flow descriptions on Tampons (which by the way, I find disgusting.  Can they not think of some other way to describe their bleeding?   Like "Lock the Gates" to "Eh, not so bad".  It's just a thought.)  However the song is quite apropos to a woman's emotions during leaky week.

She said "I'll throw myself away,

They're just photos afterall."

I can't make you hang around

I can't wash you off my skin

....

I can go with the flow, 

but don't say it doesn't matter anymore

Joshua Homme, lead singer/writer, has obviously dealt with the wrath.  You can't write lyrics like that without some experience.

4.  Meredith Brooks - "Bitch"

Here it is for the playlist, it speaks for itself.  I'm not going to touch on it beyond that.

5.  Alanis Morissette - "Uninvited"

This is more of a song for the guys.  "Why would an Alanis Morissette song be for the guys?" you might be asking.  Well because when your lady is riding the winged cotton dragon, chances are that your invitation to her lady garden has probably been temporarily revoked.  

So these are the top five but the list doesn't have to stop here.  You can take my suggestions and make that special lady in your life a little playlist for her mp3 player and watch her heart melt in your thoughtfulness.  Here are a few more suggestions if you'd like:

The Doors - Peace Frog (Blood in the Streets) 
AC/DC - If You Want Blood (You Got It)
Slayer - Raining Blood
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Blood Sugar Sex Magik
Alice Cooper - Only Women Bleed
Rolling Stones - Let it Bleed
Porno for Pyros - Blood Rag


You get the point.  Now go make that playlist guys and take cover.