Thursday, September 15, 2011

A little dose of today's news: Palin, Anthony, and Netflix

I didn’t have a broad subject to write on today but every day our ever constant news flow provided me with a few stories that I thought were at least worthy enough to comment on. 
A new book is coming out about my beloved Sarah Palin by Joe McGinniss which makes claims that she has snorted cocaine off of an oil drum and had an affair with former NBA star Glen Rice (which he confirmed).  She and her husband are of course denying this but really those are two oddly specific claims to be making.  Simply stating that she had done cocaine is one thing but stating that she had snorted it off of a 55 gallon oil drum is another.  Perhaps that is her issue:  She is doing the wrong drugs.  Cocaine makes you erratic, high strung, and slowly eats away at your brain.  If she had been smoking pot all along it would’ve gave us a much different Palin.  She could’ve shown up wearing her flowery sundress to the GOP and told everyone that they just needed to “chill”.  She wouldn’t have been so quick to stick her nose in every new controversy that came along.  She would been much more introspective and not bothered with having her face and her sound bites available for everyone to see and scrutinize.  But the cocaine probably explains all the kids she crapped out.  I’m sure her husband couldn’t keep up.  She was probably so insatiable that he didn’t even have time to put on the condom.  Every time she scored an 8 ball of blow her husband knew that in 9 months they would have another idiot kid.  As far as the affair with the NBA player goes, I love the image of the whole thing.  Little, tiny conservative Sarah Palin getting down with a 6’8 black NBA baller is hilarious.  Which makes me hope that perhaps they will do a sequel to the porno spoof “Nailin’ Palin” where it shows a younger Palin look alike with Scarface-type mounds of coke surrounding her while she is in a 1 on 5 orgy with the LA Lakers.
Everyone’s favorite sweetheart-baby-killing-mom is back in the news today and as expected is being ordered to pay some restitution.  After multiple, relentless sessions of lying to police, Casey Anthony is being ordered to pay back almost $100,000 to the state of Florida for making them search for the dead child that she hid.  This sounds better than it is though because prosecutors were asking that she pay $517,000 for the full costs of the investigation.  Which makes me think, “Really???  Just $517,000 for the entire 2 ½ year investigation?”  It’s hard to believe that was all they spent on her.   If you watched Nancy Grace or any other talking head during this whole ordeal, you would think it was some multi-million dollar investigation going on.  I wonder if anyone else besides me is looking at this number and thinking that if perhaps a bit more was spent they could’ve actually convicted her.  Because really that seems like a small figure when you look at man hours alone.  Or is Florida really that cheap that they have numerous detectives working on this case for 2 ½ years almost non-stop that it only cost that?  Are Florida police being paid the same as McDonald’s workers?  I do think that this could have a silver lining for Anthony though.  Sure she has to pay out $100 grand but she could work it into the new reality show she is sure to get.  How else will she pay this back?  I see that she has one of three options available to her in paying this back.  One, she does the reality/talk TV show with O.J Simpson (via satellite) called “Getting Away with Murder” where they give hindsight advice to convicted killers and critique what they did wrong in getting caught.  Two, she makes the bestselling sex tape in history which she would because let’s face it:  We all like to see famous people naked.  Or three, she can start stripping and open her own escort service in Florida.  I think she could make some serious money on that one.  Disgruntled cops and angry parents could watch acquire her services and they would pay her to let them beat her senseless.  In reality she could incorporate all three options kind of like Kim Kardashian did.  She would be getting dirty with an angry Orlando detective while he pays extra to let him videotape it.  Afterwards both she and the cop decide to sell the tape to Vivid and pretend to be appalled when it was released.  Everyone in America sees the dirty romp on the film and pretends to be offended but keeps on watching anyway.  Then Ryan Seacrest and E! decide to offer her a reality/talk show with OJ.  She then becomes everyone’s favorite/most hated TV star and gets endorsement deals from Duct tape and Hefty trash bags.  No more money problems for Casey, and she would gain a new best friend in Kim Kardashian in the process.  Tell me that you can’t see all of this happening.
Netflix is losing customers presumably over the recent “price hike” that they implemented a few months ago.  I say “price hike” with some hesitation though.  Its $8 more per month to watch all of the movies and TV shows that you can cram into your life.  I want to know the backwards logic of the people complaining about this.  It costs $8-$10 per ticket to go to the movies plus the gas it takes to get there, the tub of butter with popcorn sprinkled in it, and a 108 oz. Coke to wash it down.  It costs $1 per night per DVD to rent through RedBox, which on the surface sounds good but no one ever returns their movies on time.  You rent the newest Jennifer Aniston formulaic love fest at RedBox on Friday night to watch with your wife.  You get home and your friends call you and want to come over.  Your friends hate Jennifer Aniston and bring over the new Jackass movie to watch instead.  The next day when it comes time to return it your wife says, “Oh but honey we didn’t get to watch it.  Let’s keep it for tonight and just bring it back tomorrow.  It’s just a dollar per night.”  You agree and you end up watching it with her two days later because plans kept getting changed and it’s only $1 per night.  By the 5th day, you aren’t even thinking of the movie because:  1) it was a pretty forgettable Aniston movie and 2) your kid took and put it up in the drawer.  Well 20 days later RedBox charges you $25 for some horrible movie that you will never, ever watch again.  So, where is the logic in dropping a service that allows you to save a buttload of money and watch all the crappy Jennifer Aniston movies you desire? 

2 comments:

  1. I'm actually not surprised that the investigation costs were only $517k, even including police and prosecutor man hours. Remember, prosecutors & cops don't get paid the big bucks like retained or even court appointed defense attorneys (in a capital murder case), so those costs are minimal.....Say 2 prosecutors and 10 cops, maybe even through in a forensics expert? Probably about spot on for investigation costs.
    Now where you would have REALLY been appalled would have been if she had a court-appointed attorney and had not retained her own. Most capital murder cases with court-appointed attorneys for the Defendant end up costing the state upwards of $1 million JUST for Defense attorneys! Swallow that big pill while the cops and prosecutors probably won't make that in their public service career.

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  2. Wow, I did not realize that prosecutors made so little. I would think that with man hours alone on that many police and forensics would have exceeded that amount

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