I Need a Reboot: Ending 2012 and taking 2013 Seriously

I feel this so hard.  Hearing it once is fine but
after that, you kind of feel like shooting someone
while calling them a motherfucker.

When I started this blog in 2011, I started off with a goal in mind.  I wanted to write something 2 or 3 times a week, I wanted to be relevant, I wanted to be funny, and I wanted it to lead to something.  Guess how many of those goals were achieved?  Two, sort of and those are subjective.  What the hell happened?  I could sit here and reel off a whole list of excuses but that would be boring.  So instead I wanted to take a new approach to the whole blog starting with the cliche of the the New Year.  I know that is lame and I hate myself for even typing those words but I sort of figured this time to be a good jumping off point. 

This year I am going to start to treat this blog as a job.  I found that to be my problem in the past.  It was something that I did casually and I often would have ideas and then be too busy or more honestly too damn lazy to write them down.  So this year every day for at least 1 to 3 hours a day (or night) I'll dedicate myself to this page.  Whether I write out some original ideas or whether I make it commentary on news or if I simply find some stuff on the internet that interests me.  I want my site to become a place that my friends and fans come to in order to find and learn about interesting shit that they might not have otherwise found.  I want to add my commentary to whatever I find suitable.  So without further adieu, I wanted to start this off with introducing some interesting stuff that I've recently been looking into. 


The Picture of the Day

If you've ever seen any of my other pictures then
you'll know exactly where I got this.

I'm not sure what it is with girls either making a duckface or sticking their tongues out in seemingly every other picture on the internet but our friend here on the leftside of the picture has taken it to new levels. Lick a friend!! If any of my friends licked me while taking a picture, the next shot would be of me punching him in the throat.

Interview with a Cannibal: from Vice.com

I first learned about this guy while listening to my favorite podcast (and sort of my inspiration for doing this in the first place) the Joe Rogan Experience.  His name is Issei Sagawa and he is a confirmed psychotic cannibal.  In 1981, Sagawa murdered fellow college student Renee Hartevelt in Paris and over the course of three days cut off and devoured pieces of her and saved other choice cuts in his fridge.  He was caught dumping the leftovers in a lake.  The story itself is chilling and disturbing but I feel that most of us are so jaded with crazy news stories that we cannot ever truly grasp the horror of crimes.  This short 30 odd minute documentary is an interview with the monster.  He gives details of his crime along with personal illustrations with such a matter of fact attitude that it sends chills up your spine.  He admittedly has no remorse for his crime and by watching it, one could definitely conclude that he would like to do it again.  And he very well could, because guess what?  He never served prison time for his crime.  He was immediately sent to a psychiatric hospital in France after his apprehension and declared insane.  However the French, in their infamous hospitality, did not want to foot the bill for keeping this madman locked up and deported him back to Japan.  Japan is known to take care of their own and after a short stint in one of their hospitals, they released him and he's been free ever since.  This documentary covers not only his crimes but his life since the "incident", as he calls it.  He has made a living off his own infamy writing books about his crime, starring in cheesy Z level Japanese movies exploiting him as a cannibal, and even did a porn with an unsuspecting actress who only learned of his crimes after the sex was done.  So gather up the family, get some popcorn, and watch this fun-filled, happy-go-lucky documentary...or not.  You should probably watch this alone and with a side of horror and disgust.

The Joe Rogan Experience

This definitely will not be the last time I mention the JRE as it continues to amaze me with every episode but I felt that I have to mention it in the first blog of the year.  If you've never listened (and according to statistics only me and about 10 other people in the entire state of TN listen to any podcasts), you have to.  As a matter of fact, if you don't listen to this one then find one that you do like.  Podcasts are, to me, the best form of entertainment, information, and distraction that can be had for free.  Go to iTunes, go to podcasts and you'll see literally hundreds of great shows...all for free.  You pay nothing!!!  Anyway, go find one and do it, you might learn something!!  This clip hear is one of a series of 2012 year in review videos for the JRE so I figured it would be a good taste for people new to the experience. 

The 9 Wildest Things Fox News has said in 2012 from the Huffington Post

I found this little jewel this morning while scrolling around my Huffington Post App.  I won't always pick on Conservatives and Republicans but when you get something this great it's hard to ignore.  I promise I'll knock on the liberal side as well, because we say stupid shit all the time too.  I've found that this year, above many others, we have examples of bad, terrible rhetoric from the Conservative side though.  A lot of rape minimalizing, a lot of gay blaming, and a lot about how the absence of God in schools has led to these shootings has been muttered without a bit of foresight from these Neanderthals.  Rape has been a big issue with them all year, I guess because of the whole birth control drama.  The birth control issue is something I could go off on for an hour but I'll sum it up in as few words as possible.  Birth control is a good thing, we are overpopulated as it is, women have the right to it, companies that try to deny it are anti-progress and in all reality too cheap to provide it and think we are all too stupid to realize it, and it should really be a non-issue.  There I said it.

The Lumineers



Now on to something more cheery...I know that I am probably just old or out of touch but I recently discovered this band while bullshitting around on Spotify.  Apparently, millions of other people heard about these guys before I did and have watched this video and bought their album but dammit, it's better late than never.  I just picked up the CD today (I know it's available to listen to for free on the internet but sometimes I like having a physical copy. Stop judging me!!) Holy Batman's Nutsack, Robin!!  This is a tremendous album.  There doesn't seem to be one moment of "suck" on the entire thing.  I do however, recommend watching this video with your eyes closed because it is about as lame as it gets but the song is great. 


If you like what I do or if you hate me, come check me out on Facebook at Grumpy Cynical Thirtysomething.  Tell me how great you think I am or tell me I'm an asshole.  Either way, thanks for reading.  Also for God's sake, go through my Amazon links if you want to buy from them, I'll get a few pennies.

Post Election Hangover: The Week After

Well, it's been a little over a week since the Electoral College took a look at our votes and decided which guy would ultimately take the helm of Supreme Ruler of America.  Many people have felt that the Electoral College chose the wrong guy.  Many people believe in voter fraud.  Many people thought the count was wrong.  Worst of all?  Many people thought that this was the beginning of the apocalypse, armageddon, the holocaust, and ground zero for a massive zombie outbreak all rolled into one. 

Now before you hit the little 'x' in the upper right hand corner hear me out.  I'm not criticizing people who voted Romney.  I'm really not.  What I am criticizing is narrow-mindedness and complete apocalyptical thinking.  Neither Romney nor Obama were or are the saviors of America.  They are simply men who raised enough money to buy votes and support from the correct special interest groups, lobbyists, and corporations who will then turn around and be controlled by these same groups.  That's all.  So please don't be sad that Romney didn't get in, he wasn't going to save you just like Obama isn't either.  Don't gloat in Obama's victory, it doesn't mean anything just as if Romney would've gotten in.

This has not happened...yet

I've waited a week to write this because I was wanting to make sure that the "doom and gloom" crowd weren't correct in predicting the end of civilization.  I woke on the morning after the election and peeked outside my window to make sure that zombies weren't dragging my neighbors out of their homes, that cars weren't spontaneously combusting, that there weren't any massive dumpster fires, and that there wasn't any rioting in the streets before I got out of bed.  And you know what?  I couldn't tell a difference between Tuesday morning when I woke up and that Wednesday.  Hell, each day I've been waiting for lizard-people to come around with sub-atomic brain suction lasers to suction my thoughts and soul out of my body.  Alas, it has not happened.  When I get in my car each morning I wince at the thought that when I turn the key, I might be instantly vaporized.  I'm timid when I pull into the parking lot at school, thinking that all of these students might actually be zombies ready to eat my face. But nope, nothing has changed.  I think and ponder all this because on that Wednesday I went to Facebook and saw all the foretelling of the collapse of society as we know it being spewed out by many people who were sad.

Sure, there were certainly some entertaining posts that weren't actually meant for entertainment (I think), but most of them were so out there that one would easily conclude that the apocalpse was starting in the next 5 minutes.  I saw, "America is dead", "God will punish America", and "I'm moving to Mexico/Canada", just to name a few.  Now if you took a time traveler from the 1800's who landed in 2012 and told them to read all of these posts, he would start to quiver in his boots and faint from sheer terror.  People were blowing this whole thing way out of proportion.  I was actually ashamed to know some of these people.  I couldn't believe that anyone could type or say those things and actually be serious.  I decided to engage one of the more extreme people to try to get an idea of what he was thinking.  He had combined all three of the previous examples into one single post and then some (he added that Obama was an evil Muslim that hated America and Israel).  I told him the short version of what I'm saying here now, but it fell on deaf ears. 

Drug Cartel's favorite activity for white people

My favorites have been the posts about moving to Mexico or Canada.  Yeah, that will fix your problems.  Mexico's notorious drug cartels just love white people.  Let me rephrase that, they love the severed heads of white people who got too close to their operation.  Canada is pretty cool but then you have the healthcare thing that so many are bitching about now.  Got a cold?  Get in line, it might take a month or two. 

See?  That's not Obama.

If you find that you are one of these people that said all of these things, don't think that I hate you or wish ill-will towards you.  Quite the contrary, I care about you and I want you to be smarter than what you are showing.  Every president that has come along throughout history has had their naysayers.  People have always prophetized the end of the world when he get a president.  They are always the "Antichrist" in someone's eyes.  But look, we haven't blown our selves up, the zombies haven't risen, society hasn't collapsed, and you are probably doing the same thing today as you were the same time last week.  Electing a president does not make for great changes, the people of America are the ones who change it.  We need to look past these silly party lines that we've drawn up and step over them and help each other out.  Positive change will only happen when we decide to make it happen.  So stick around gloom-and-doomers, greatness could be just around the corner.

Advice Blog: "Dude, It'd Probably be Easier if You Were Gay"

Yeah, that really is the title of this one. And yeah, I really did tell someone that. I have a good sound reason too. It's not because this guy or any guy that has women problems seems to have any "gay tendencies" or I feel that they are in the closet or anything. No, it's because at a certain point communicating with women and deciphering their secret code can become so frustrating that it could cross one's mind. Same for women too. I hear women say all the time, "I swear, I'm almost at the point of writing off men for good" but you never hear, "Dude, it'd probably be easier if you were gay"....until now.

I was talking to a friend the other day that has had a bad run with women here lately and it always seems to come down to simple communication problems. You see women and men, fundamentally, communicate differently and although there is nothing wrong with that, it's still maddening. I'm not going to get into that hacky, typical comedian thing of "Hey, did you ever notice women do (enter cliché here)? But I will say that women will beat around the bush about what they want from a man. She may say something like, "I've not eaten much today" and what that means when translated to Man-talk says, "Hey, will you get me something to eat?" I will also say that women tend to mask what they want with vagueness like, "I want to take things slow" or "I think we are moving too fast". Now I don't know how to translate that to Man-talk because it is so vague. My friend had this said to him from the last couple of girls he has dated. I don't know what the hell this means, and to be honest, no one knows what it means, man or woman, it's simply something to say to throw the man off. I've tried to decipher the meaning and even came up with some plausible ideas of what it might mean (No sex, too much hanging, too much calling, meeting the parents, etc.) but I can't be sure. The woman might be fine with a lot of sex but you are calling her too much or she doesn't want the sex but would really like to hang out more. Who knows? When I was stuck in the dating world 136 years ago, I got one of those statements several times and I would ask, "Ok. So what do you want then? Am I calling too much? Should we have sex less often? What is it?" Inevitably it was always another vague answer to a specific question, "No, it's just that I want to take it slow"

If a man were to say something like this (which would probably not happen) it would be much more specific like, "Listen, you are being too clingy, I need some guy time, quit blowing up my phone, but let's still have sex whenever possible" And why is that? Because typically men say exactly what they want. We do not practice the art of being vague, we don't dance around a subject, and we certainly do not do little tests. Which is another thing; women do the "test-talk" all the time. "That girl has a nice body don't you think, honey?" the female might say and since men say what they mean a male might say yes. But no that was a test, he isn't supposed to find other women attractive, he lost sight of other beauty when he met his girlfriend, his eyes cannot even register the opposite sex, everyone just looks grey and featureless anymore!! There are a million examples of this and I think you get my point and now that brings me back around full-circle to my statement of it might be easier to be gay.

I'm not trying to down play how it is to be a gay man or woman in this world; I know that there are many struggles that they have to go through in society. What I am saying is, at the root of it, excluding outside judgment and homophobes, being gay would be pretty easy, especially for a man. Of course, there is also the problem for some that they don't find other dudes attractive but if that was taken out it would be great. The guy could hang out with his best friend; they could watch sports, drink, take a dump without shame, scratch their balls without judgment, and would never have to worry about communication problems. A dream monogamous gay dude situation would be watching the Super Bowl, guzzling iced mugs of beer, smoking cigars, and eating some hot wings. The only downfall would be that you'd half to have sex later. But if you could get past the part where you aren't attracted to other dudes, wouldn't that be great?

Or let's say that you've grown tired of women and their games and you just want to go out, try some dudes, and have no strings attached. Shazam, son!! If you are looking for anonymous-no-strings sex, look no further than Craiglist. If you've never read through Craigslist "casual encounters" or "missed connections" section then you are missing out on a treat. It goes back to what I was saying earlier, that men say exactly what they want and what they are thinking, and apparently men want some pretty damn dirty things. I just want to give some real examples real quick, none of this has been pre-screened; I just simply went there and these are some of the gems I found: (I think it goes without saying that this blog is getting ready to be pretty explicit, so if you are easily offended, then it's time to go)

•   From Bristol - "clean and discreet cock sucker swallowing loads. nice looking total bottom. stop by econo lodge rm to to to on commonwealth and use my mouth. clean tight butt needs a good drilling also. have some porn."
• From Bristol - "I AM A COCKSUCKER TRIED AND TRUE.  LOVE TO SUCK, DEEPTHROAT, SWALLOW CUM, RIM AND WORSHIP HOT GUYS.
  MARRIED, STR8 AND UNCUT ARE PLUSES BUT NOT REQUIREMENTS.
  IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, YOU SHOULD BE 50 OR UNDER, HWP, AND HAVE BALLS FULL OF CUM."
• From, you guessed it, Bristol - " I want someone to come over and plow the hell out of my ass and use my throat as hard as you want.. send pics and i do whatever you ask. i will be your sex slave."
• And probably my favorite one that I found tonight, from Asheville - "Hosting now in my hotel- dressed in panties, stockings garter, lace...got a room full of panties, an ass filled with a dildo, and a cock that needs sucking....please bring your eager mouth
  Will bottom for right guy- Will let u cum and pee on me if that's your thing
  6'3 200lbs white married cd 6.5 cut and shaved"

What most of the guys are hoping for
on Craigslist.

See? These are gay dudes being honest about what the hell they want. They don't want to be your friend, they don't want to have some deep intellectual conversation, they want to get down and dirty. This kind of talk would not and could not work with 90% of women (unless you are paying them and that is their profession). With women, it is a cat-and-mouse game of getting down to the bottom of what each of them want. No one is going to be that out and tell you that it's perfectly ok to piss on them in a bar. If you like dudes or you are fed up with women and want to try a dude, Craigslist seems to be the place to go.

I know it's not very practical advice for most because chances are that if you've dated women your entire dating life then you probably like women and think dudes are gross. This is the one chink in my advice armor. I couldn't do it but perhaps if you get desperate enough it might be the right way to go for you.

Special Edition of Love Advice with Dr. Sleepy: The Slut Conundrum

Lately, I have been writing strictly about all things political and while I do enjoy it I don't think that all of my readers really want to hear me rant on and on about Romney.  So in response to that I decided to write something more fun and do a brief return to the love advice column.  This is a special edition though, I'm only addressing one question and it wasn't sent via e-mail but rather it was asked of me directly.  I gave my advice to the guy but I wanted to recreate it for print because it was a fairly good conversation.

For dramatic purposes here is a recreation of the conundrum I was presented with from a fellow male:
Dustin, I've been dating a woman for the past year on and off.  We've had our ups and downs and have even broken up a few times.  During those times she was admittedly (when confronted) with other men...several of them.  She has a very, what some would say, checkered past.  I wouldn't call her a slut but let's say that she was generous with her vagina.  She was unfaithful in nearly all of her past relationships and all of them ended miserably.  She hits the clubs and the booze equally hard as often as possible.  I know some shit has gone down resulting from those club incidents which is what split us up before.  She has a child from a previous relationship that I've grown fond of and find myself taking care of a lot.  Oh yeah, and we just had a baby together.  So the question is, "Is this going to last?" and "How much of myself should I invest here?"

Well the great modern day poet, Ludacris, once put it so eloquently that "You can't turn a ho into a housewife, ho's don't act right".  I know that the past is the past and many of us have done things in our life that we may not be proud of and can even become different people over a course of time.  However, how far back must we go to consider something to be "in the past".  Is it a year?  Is it 6 months?  Is it a couple of weeks?  I don't have a definitive answer but if your girlfriend has been generous with her vagina with other guys while carrying your child in her belly then I find that hard to consider "in the past".  Just because your lady friend hasn't banged a stranger in a few months doesn't mean she has changed, it simply means that she has temporarily stopped her behavior probably because she just had the baby and has to be home more often.  Here is how I see it going for you if you stick around:  You are already semi-attached to the one child and have one of your own now too.  She will eventually take advantage of that notion.  She'll start out slow by saying something like, "Oh I haven't been out in so long by myself, I would like just one night to go out.  Would you care to watch the kids?"  You, trying to be the understanding free-minded boyfriend, will hesitantly agree.  You sit at home with the kids all night wondering what she might be doing.  "Has she met an attractive stranger?"  "How much has she had to drink?"  She then comes stumbling home, kind of drunk, at around 4am.  She doesn't want to answer questions or talk she says that she is "so tired" and just wants to take a shower and get in bed.  The next morning you are stuck with getting up with the kids because she is too hungover and tired but you think to yourself, "Well, she deserved a night out.  All of this baby stuff is stressful".  You don't really discuss the previous night and you seemingly go on about your life with her but then the next week rolls around and she says that her friends are really wanting to have a "girl's night out" and asks if you would mind watching the kids again.  You may grumble a bit but you agree.  Same thing happens, she comes in a 4am, a little drunk, doesn't say much, and takes a shower.  You start to get a litte suspicous and the next morning you try to talk to her about it.  She gets angry and asks why you're so jealous and why don't you trust her.  You point out to her some of the past transgressions and it blows up into a bigger fight.  Things smoothe over eventually and perhaps she skips going out the next week to show you that she has changed, but then when things are going good again she tells you that she wants to hit the club with some friends, she may even invite you to come along, but oh wait, no one else can watch the kids.  Sorry, I guess you'll need to stay at home with them, maybe next time.  Now you are stuck, this is the cycle she is setting for you.  She comes home once a week smelling like a bum's nutsack and shows up with smeared lipstick and mascara but you cannot dare ask questions.

You will become the beta-male to her.  She will view you in the light that she can run all over you because this is her pattern.  You've heard about it from her past relationships.  You've seen it with your own eyes in your own relationship but now you are "staying for the kid".  Don't do that!  Be there for the kid, handle your responsibility, but you don't have to stay in a relationship where the woman is sharing her vagina with every stranger that tells her that she looks pretty.  People do not change in a matter of a few months.  You can't murder 10 people on a Wednesday and then say on a Friday that you are no longer a murder because you took Thursday off.  The same principle here.  If you stay and allow this pattern to happen you will look at yourself in the mirror in 5 years, see that you've wasted your primetime of life, see that you've not aged 5 years but more like 15 years, you'll have bags of sadness hanging below your eyes from the your incessant crying, you'll see the lines of anger burrowed permenantly across your forehead, and then you'll ask "What the hell have I done with my life?  It's gone!!"  You will know that in your heart that she isn't being faithful to you.  You'll know that she has a guy or two on the side not because she is a typical woman but because of her past patterns.  She'll want to keep you around not out of love but because you help take care of the kids, you provide for her, and your name is on the lease.  You will notice as time goes by that the two of you are less intimate with each other.  You might be having sex once or twice a month, at best, because she is getting her pleasure from all the strangers while you sit at home masturbating with your own tears. 

Don't let this happen, get out now.  You should've never done it anyway.  You should've known better, but it's too late now, what's done is done but you can still leave.  Sure you will forever have that connection of a child with her but you don't have to tie yourself to her as a mate.  Maybe one day you can be friends, maybe not but either way take care of your responsibility and go out there and find some happiness.  Do a better vetting process with the next girl.  Don't pick up the next girl you meet at the bar or if you do, don't plan a relationship with her unless you want this same pattern to reoccur.  Find someone who loves you, who is commited to you, who doesn't have a past filled with 100 one night stands and if she does make sure a sufficient amount of time has passed. 

And another thing, this can go for women dating man-whores.  Ladies, if you are dating a man who has been a serial-one-night offender and/or cheater, then you must leave immediately.  If he has been out plowing through skanks while you sit at home pregnant or watching the kids in the past, then he probably still is or will again.  Everything I said about the woman in the above paragraphs can be completely reversed and replace the male and female roles. 

But then again, my friend, perhaps she has changed.  Perhaps she is done with that crazy nightlife filled with strange men in seedy motel rooms with copious amounts of lube and methamphetamines.  And perhaps a three-headed alien will fly down on a fire-breathing unicorn from Planet Kolob wearing the skin of a panda bear shouting racial slurs.  It could happen. 

Why Romney is Not the Answer: Part 2 - RomneyBot No Like Gay Marriage

Many people are still on the fence about the upcoming election. Luckily for you, I am here. I want to guide you into making the right decision for you and your beliefs. I certainly won't tell you who to vote for. I simply want to get the facts out to my readers and the most efficient way to do it is to focus on one candidate at a time and as of right now, Mittens Romney is the target...err, I mean subject. In my previous post, (which you can find here) I explained Romney's position on medical marijuana. However, through careful research I actually learned more than just his position on keeping marijuana illegal but his support for dangerous synthetic marijuana known as "Spice" and his support and financial interest in addictive painkillers. But now it's time to move forward and learn more about our friend, Mittens. Let's see how he feels about homosexuals and their rights. Come on, it'll be fun!!

　

Unless you've been living in solitary confinement for the past couple of years, you know that the issue of gay marriage is a huge hot button topic for politicians to play with. Mittens is certainly no stranger to the notion of "playing" with the topic. Romney not only has played with the topic of gay rights but he has literally played the gay community. In 1994 when a young Romney was running for the Senate seat in Massachusetts, he seemed to be a Republican champion of gay rights. (I know it's a complete definition of oxymoron, right?) He wrote a letter to the Log Cabin Republicans outlining how important he believed gay rights to be and for proof here are some excerpts or for the full text click here :

• As a result of our discussions and other interactions with gay and lesbian voters across the state, I am more convinced than ever that as we seek to establish full equality for America's gay and lesbian citizens

• If we are to achieve the goals we share, we must make equality for gays and lesbians a mainstream concern.

• I think the gay community needs more support from the Republican Party and I would be a voice in the Republican Party to foster anti-discrimination efforts

See?  It's pink.  How clever of Mittens.

Believe it or not, these are real things that Romney said. Allow me to blow your mind a little more. During the 2002 Pride Week gathering in Massachusetts, Romney's crew of propaganda spreaders passed out flyers in support of the gay community. Mittens played it to the gay community that he was truly for them and their rights to life, liberty, and a fabulous time.  Now keep in mind, never in this time did he come out and say he was for or against gay marriage...exactly.  He eluded to his oppositon of it a lot and was even okay with the whole civil ceremony thing and domestic partnership.

Now I've told you all this and I left it at that you would probably think, "Mittens seems to be okay with the gay community.  What's you deal, Sleepy?  Why are you picking on poor Mittens?"  Well, because this position of good times and "full equality" didn't last.  Surprise!!!  A politician didn't keep his word!! 

In a 2008 interview with Chris Matthews on his show "Hardball",  Romney was asked where he stood on gay marriage and civil unions, an answer we all probably already knew but it was fun to ask.  Romney's response was a little more than what was expected, "Well, I would rather have neither, to tell you the truth. I'd rather that domestic partner benefits, such as hospital - hospital visitation rights for same-sex couples. I don't want civil unions or gay marriage.  But there is a difference, even when just the word is the difference. And the difference is that, if you indicate as a society that you're indifferent between a same-sex couple marrying and a heterosexual couple marrying, then it means our schools and other institutions are going to have to indicate that there is no difference whatsoever, and that obviously has societal consequences that are important."  Wow!!!  So now Romney is not only afraid of gays marrying, he's also afraid of them having a civil union.  He's terrified that kids in school will be to dumb to understand and the underpaid teachers will not be able to articulate the difference between gay marriage and hetero-marriage.  Oh dear God on planet Kolob, what will we do?!?!? 

So obviously there was a shift in Romney's ideology or he was full of shit to begin with.  How can one going from a champion of gay rights to a regular run of the mill, narrow-minded homophobe?  Well, it's one of two things in my opinion.  Number one, he never believed in gay rights to begin with and was only pandering to the homosexual community in Massachusetts.  Or number two, he found out from the Supreme Overlords of the GOP that gay rights will not be tolerated if he wants to be president. I think it's probably a healthy dose of both.  He has made sure to keep very consistent with his stance on gay marriage over the past few years...almost as if he is memorizing words from a script.  "Marriage is between a man and a woman...I do not support gay marriage"  He says these things in such a monotone, almost robotic manner it makes me question his humanity.  If you listen or watch closely when Romney is introduced to a hot topic like gay marriage or marijuana laws, you can see him almost shift into Romney-bot mode.  He is lost for his own words and reverts back to the GOP script handed to him by one of Dick Cheney's satanic minions.  Here is a great example: 
                                                                                            
I'll let you catch your breath from the uncomfortable laughter that probably just spewed from your soul.  Once Romney figured out the hard-grizzled veteran was a man-loving homosexual, he switched to Romney-bot mode.  He restated his weak stance, smiled and walked away as quickly as possible.  If you watched the video from the first Romney blog when he talked to the medical marijuana patient, you'll notice that he did the same exact thing.

It is clear that when it comes to any social issues that Romney does not have any clear personal opinions, he is strictly towing the GOP party line. 

Ok, so I've presented a couple of examples and you're probably thinking, "So is that it?"  Nope I wanted to share a quote from his failed 2008 Presidential bid too and see if you, dear reader, could take away what I did from it.  "My view on marriage has been entirely consistent over my political career. And that is that I oppose same-sex marriage. I also oppose civil unions . . . ever since [same-sex marriage] became a prominent feature in my state, with the decision of the Supreme Judicial Court, I have taken every action that I could conceive of within the bounds of the law to defend traditional marriage and to stop same-sex marriage . . . I've been to Washington to testify in favor of traditional marriage. I've written a letter to every U.S. senator on the topic . . . I believe that traditional marriage is right for the nurturing and development of children" 

To me it is always curious when I see such strong language used when opposing gay marriage.  In his mini-tirade, Mittens states that he took every action that he could concieve to stop gay marriage.  Now why is this?  Well, I always like to fantasize that people who talk like that are hiding something.  Is there some illicit past rendezous in Mitten's past that he is ashamed of?  Is he scared that perhaps if gay marriage is enacted that he will be enticed to leave Mrs. Romney and marry Marcus Bachmann?  Or as Joe Rogan has stated on his podcast before when talking about people like Romney or Santorum, that "maybe they are terrified that dicks are delicous"?  I'm not sure but I would never fight an issue that had nothing to do with me.

I could understand if politicians were trying to ban free speech.  If there was no free speech I certainly couldn't be doing what I'm doing here.  I would be arrested and thrown into Guantanamo Bay.  I would fight that tooth and nail.  Or if a law was trying to get passed that had some deep-seeded issue that could really effect my soul like...well, I don't know because I'm pretty open about everything.  That's why it is so curious to me why these politicians fight issues that in no way can personally effect or harm them or any of their followers.  I'm kind of in line with Rogan on this one, perhaps they are scared that if homosexuality becomes too widely accepted that they will be enticed into succumbing to their desires and go down on the first man that they see. 

Playing with Mittens: Romney's Word Salads

I've scoured the internet for at least 10 to 15 minutes to find some great quotes from my personal antihero, Willie Mittens Romney, and then made them more fun with pictures....because, come on everyone loves pictures right?

From Great Leaders, we get great leadership
whatever that happens to be.  What was it again?

Well of course they are, my best friends Mr.
Microsoft and Mrs. Halliburton hang all
the time
 

 



He knows exactly what the ladies need.
Plus he knows that we need a big increase
in our population...duh!!

 

I just love his compassion...he really gives a shit

 

These are the words that all great bosses live by

Ok, so he didn't directly say this, but he has
implied it with his continued support for
synthetic marijuana aka "Spice"
which has made people eat their dogs.

Lastly, my favorite...Mitten's greatest verbal achievement.  A clusterfuck of words culminating in a nonsensical word salad

 

Why Romney is Not the Answer (part 1): Mittens & Marijuana

I was asked recently who or how I was going to vote this coming November. I say asked but I feel it was along the lines of being baited. Although I disagree with a lot of what Obama has done in his 3 1/2 years in office, I certainly do not see Mittens Romney and Paul Ryan being the answer to any problems. If we were looking to compound problems then I would say "absolutely, these are the men for the job" but we are trying to look at making things better.

I believe that Obama, like many other 2 term presidents, will be more likely to make positive changes for the country in his 2nd term. I have a theory on this and yes it is ridiculous but stick with me (metaphors work, dammit). Obama went after the job of president, for what I believe, with the best intentions. He talked about "hope and change" and he seemed to be more of a "one-of-us" type presidents. He was charismatic and gave us all hope that a president was going to get in there and change the game. But then something happened, I believe when a newly elected president is put into office he is breifed on the fact that he is going to function as a puppethead with no real control over anything. He was taken to an underground bunker decorated with goatheads, illuminati imagery, and pentagrams made up of the limbs of virgins. In this bunker, he was seated at a long table constructed of the bones of fallen dictators and is introduced to strange shadowy figures in red robes sewn together with the ligaments and hairs of orphans. These figures were introduced to Obama, via an unseen ominous voice, as the Order of the Red Robes also known as the "real" leaders of the country. No names are exchanged but they are identified and called upon by type of business they run. There is the Red Robe of Big Pharma, the Red Robe of Big Tobacco, the Red Robe of the Military Industrial Complex, the Red Robe of Finance, and Dick Cheney. The Red Robes told Obama all the wishes that they had. They told him how he was going to advance their causes and continue filling their pockets just as Bush had done before him. When Obama refused, they directed his attention to the video screen that was showing a continous loop of the Zapruder film of the JFK assassination. "He refused us one time too many, Mr. Obama" said the Red Robe of the Military Industrial Complex. And with that Obama has been forced ever since to follow the wants and desires of all the corporate entities of America...or at least the ones with the most money. Obama the puppethead, however, will recieve a repreive if he pleases the Red Robes and be blessed with a victory in his reelection campaign. The reins will be loosened on Obama and he will actually be allowed to get the things done that he wanted all along.

And then again, that is probably all a bunch of bullshit. However, it's probably not too far off because never has it been more obvious that a president has no control as it has been with Obama. Most everything he has done since in office has been influenced by the corporations. Which brings me to this, if Obama was as independent and charasmatic as he was before taking office and seemingly uninfluenced by corporate greed, "What the hell would happen if a corporate whore like Romney took office?" He would greet the theoretical Order of the Red Robes as old friends. His interest is their interest. His beliefs are their beliefs. Romney and Ryan are dangerous and as long as they would play along in the corporate game, they would be allowed to play their own game with their own agendas. So even though I realize that who the President is doesn't matter due to the lobbyists and corporations playing the puppetmaster, I fear the social reprecussions of a possible Mittens' Regime. As always, I would never state an opinion without some backup support and good solid logic. I present to you Part 1 of 5 reasons (as dictated by me) NOT to vote for Mittens/Ryan 2012.

1. Romney has Blatantly Uninformed Views/Beliefs in Marijuana.

I know, I know. You're probably saying "typical hippie shit, he's going to talk about weed now". Well, yes and no. Watch the video I've posted here, I'll wait for you. Ok, did you watch it? Disgusting/hilarious right? First, he asks the guy if he has tried any of the synthetic marijuana, as if synthetics are a safe and viable option. If you don't know about synthetics please feel free to click here   I'll wait again, because there is an obscene amount of articles just on this one legitimate news site about the dangers of synthetic marijuana. Did you read any of them? I hope you didn't just now, I would rather you read the rest of my article first but I insist you go back and read some of this later. For those uninformed about synthetics, let me explain. Perhaps many of you have heard of bath salts, well synthetic marijuana, often known as "spice" or "incense", is the smokable equivalent. Many users of synthetic marijuana have been hospitalized with psychosis. Did you hear about the guy who ate his 40 lb. dog ?  Guess what? He had been smoking "Spice". So Mittens suggests to this already obvious sick young man that to allieviate his pain, perhaps he should smoke some shit that will make him want to eat a puppy. After the young man explains to him that it makes him sick and that marijuana is the ONLY medicine that works on his pain, Mittens simply replies "I don't support medical marijuana" and pulls the move of being "distracted" by another person. It's some of the grossest behavior I've seen exhibited by a politician.

It made me curious as to what Mittens' other thoughts might be on marijuana and here is what he had to say in a May 2012 interview with ABC. 

"I believe marijuana should be illegal in our country. It is the pathway to drug usage by our society, which is a great scourge -- which is one of the great causes of crime in our cities. And I believe that we are at a state where, of course, we are very concerned about people who are suffering pain, and there are various means of providing pain management.....I'm told there is even a synthetic marijuana as well that is available. But having legalized marijuana, in my view, is an effort by a very committed few to try and get marijuana out into the public" 

 

 It's a long quote, I know, but there is that reference to synthetic marijuana again. Man he is really into that "Spice" huh? He also makes reference to other pain management sources. Would you like to know what the most popular medicines are for pain management? Hydrocodone, also known as Loratab or Vicodin, which just so happens to be the #1 prescribed medicine in America and also the #1 most abused prescription drug. Check out this Forbes article discussing the issue here. So Mittens would rather this young man take a highly addictive drug that is responsible for at least 400 deaths per year plus countless patients developing liver failure due to overuse while keeping in mind that marijuana contributes an average of 0 to 1 deaths per year and has no ill-effects on the mind nor the bodies' organs? Sounds a little illogical to me.

But why would Mittens be so against marijuana and so for prescription painkillers and synthetic marijuana? As far as Mittens' obsession with "Spice", I don't know. Perhaps he is ill-informed or perhaps he finds it hilarious when people eat puppies, who am I to say? As far as the prescription painkiller obsession goes, I can say something solid about that. Mittens is a savvy investor and money manager; this is well-known. Romney knows where to put his money (off-shore accounts for instance), in fact, he is a large investor in the company Watson Pharmaceuticals. Watson produces numerous beneficial medicines, but one of their most popular happens to be Loratab, which as we discussed a moment ago, is in the group of the #1 prescribed and abused drug in America. Could that be a possible motive for Mittens? Seems like it to me. The reason Romney would never approve medical marijuana is because it would interfere with his personal bottom-line. Not only that but the total amount of donations from big pharmaceutical companies such as Watson to the GOP has been nearly double than that donated to Democrats over the last 18 years. (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/graphic/2009/01/08/GR2009010800559.html) So I think it is safe to say that Romney is pretty dedicated to keeping his pharmaceutical buddies happy.

 

Marijuana poses a threat to painkillers. The studies of the positive effects of marijuana are numerous. Just check out www.imarijuana.com for proof. I know that the name of the site is a little shady and doesn't ring credibility but it is the easiest to navigate and it draws it's information from credible sources such as Harvard, the National Cancer Institute, and numerous respected doctors and scientists. I encourage anyone who reads this to do your own research on the subject, God knows I have, because I don't want people going forth in the world spouting out secondhand information. I want everyone to be informed and armed with knowledge. I'm not sure if Mittens is informed or not, but with his suggestions of the use of synthetic marijuana it leads me to believe he is a dipshit when it comes to these matters. Romney has no real concern for the American public when it comes to drugs, he has a selfish concern, but not an "overall-well-being" concern. If he truly cared then he wouldn't allow his bottomline and lobbying interests interfere. Hopefully one day he will take a logical look at studies conducted concerning marijuana and its benefits, but until then I guess he will keep going with promoting addictive prescription painkillers and puppy-eating synthetic marijuana. Please make sure to check out the rest of the series as it comes out.  Also go like my page on Facebook and subscribe to this page as well.  And hey, these advertisments are there for your pleasure.