Standardized Test for Qualification of Reproducing Offspring

I made out this little standardized test a couple of months ago after encountering a young girl at the park who told my kids that she was going to "kick them in the cock".  I approached the girl's mother and she was very busy with her iPhone, texting away.  When I told her what her kid said, she looked up at me, shrugged her shoulders, said "Kids will be kids", and went back to texting.  The girl was probably about 19-21 and obviously not ready for parenthood.  I thought this test might be a good idea for anyone thinking about getting pregnant or anyone who is having vast amounts of unprotected sex.  I feel that a lot of our nations problems could be solved if people were to take this test to qualify to be a parent.  If they fail, they would be sterilized and released.  If they pass, then they could proceed with the reproduction process.

Standardized Parenting Test (with answer key)
Before reproducing, we are now requiring that you take this test to determine your eligibility and capability of becoming a parent.

1. Do you like children?  (if answer is “no” you may go ahead and turn in the test, you’re done)
2. Do you have a way to support a child?  (if answer is “no” you may go ahead and turn in the test, you’re done)
3. How often do you have to feed a child?  (if answer is less than 3 times a day or “I dunno”, turn in the test, you’re done)
4. Are you emotionally available?  (if answer is “no” turn in the test, you’re done)

True or False portion of Standardized Parenting Test

1. TV is an excellent babysitter.      True       False
2. Potato chips are a vegetable       True       False
3. Finishing school is not that important      True       False
4. My cell phone is my best friend.                               True       False
5. Having a baby will be so cool, we’ll be best friends           True       False
6. Watching “16 and Pregnant” on MTV inspired me.            True       False
7. I can still go clubbing every weekend when I’m a parent                True       False
8. Babies make excellent accessories           True       False
9. TV will teach my child what I can’t            True       False
10. Cursing kids are funny                                   True       False
11. Bathing my child & dressing them is optional       True       False

If you answered “True” to any of the above questions, you are not allowed to mate.  (Except #10, because sometimes it is kind of funny, but still you shouldn’t admit it)
Your grade will determine if you are going to be eligible to be a parent.  If you pass, you should already know it, if you are not sure….Don’t call us for the results, we’ll call you