Water Gives You Cramps and other lies We were told

Remember when a lot of us were kids back in the 80's and 90's and we were told that, "Wait at least 30 minutes before you get in the pool or you'll get a cramp and drown." and "You don't need no water, you'll cramp up."? We were told this by our parents, coaches, and other assorted authority figures but did you know anyone that ate a piece of chicken, hopped in the pool, and drowned when he got a cramp?  Whenever a coach would show an ounce of mercy and allow you to get a sip of water, did you cramp up when you went back out and played?  I don't know anyone that either of those things happened to and I doubt that anybody else does either.

I really started thinking about this when I signed my kids up for football the other day and the coaches were encouraging parents to send their kids with extra water bottles for practice.  I was shocked, not because I disagree, but because when I played football the coaches made you "earn" your water priveledge.  We would practice in 95 degree weather for 90 minutes without so much as a breeze and the coach would begrudgingly tell us that it was time to get some water after a kid would nearly pass out from heat exhaustion.  The coaches would even set an insane time & consumption limit on us as well.  There would be like 50 kids all trying to get a spot at the water spicket and have something like 25 seconds to guzzle down what we could at the same time.  Water breaks were like Christmas morning on meth.  It was everybody scrambling like the papparazzi after Princess Diana.  We would be knocking each other over to get our lips wet for a single moment.  We all thought it was the dumbest thing we had ever heard of back then.  I knew that people died of dehydration all the time and I was just waiting my turn out there.  Now, society and science has caught up with sports and kids get water constantly.  "Gotta keep hydrated, get some water."  "Get you a big gulp"  These are phrases that were never uttered once back then.  Our coaches hoarded water so bad that they could have been featured on that "Hoarders" show.  They didn't know what they were going to do with all that water but by God we weren't getting any.  What finally changed this retarded backwards thinking?  People had to die.  It took a few football players across the country keeling over in 100 degree weather and people finally said, "Huh?  Maybe we should get these kids some water."  So now it is a universal thing, you never see a practice without 25 water bottles and two 20 gallon jugs of water on the sidelines.  I'm glad for it but I'm still a little jealous too.  The coaches always made that same tired excuse for denying us our precious water, "You'll cramp up if you drink water and play."  Who made up this logic?  What is the one of the first things they do when a player in the NFL cramps up during a game?  They give him some water.  So, I'd like to say thanks a lot for nearly killing all of us in your dehydration camps, coaches!!

Keeping up with the theme of water, we were also told that eating + swimming = death.  It was pounded into the head of every kid during the 80's.  I don't think it still does now, but back then that is all we heard.  My folks would throw pool parties and BBQs all the time when I was young and I loved it.  But I dreaded the part that I had to wait a freaking half hour to get back in the pool after I ate a potato chip.  I would wait until I was nearly starving before I would hop out and eat.  And the 30 minutes would not start until you ate that last bite of food.  If you were waiting around and it was around the 20th minute and you casually walked by and grabbed a chip out of the bowl, your 30 minutes started over.  It was put into my head so much by my parents, their friends, and other parents that I was terrified to get in the water after eating because I was afraid that I would drown all because I loved fried chicken.  I was probably 15 or 16 when I went to the lake with a couple of friends and we were going to eat and swim a little bit.  We brought some burgers, sat by the water, ate, and chatted it up.  Then I remember my buddy immediately jumping into the water after he was done.  I thought, "Holy crap, Jeremy is going to drown now.  He ate McDonalds and didn't wait to swim."  But you know what?  Nothing happened.  He swam cramp free.  I jumped in and didn't drown either.  So why did all the parents back then insist on us not getting in the water for 30 minutes?  I think it was probably something they had a meeting about and decided that it would give them a 30 minute buffer zone to talk amongst themselves and not have to watch you in the pool and worry about you drowning. 

Another lie, but a good one that we should bring back, was that you had to earn a position on a team.  If you were playing football, baseball, basketball, or whatever sport it was you had to work your butt off to be able to get to play in the games.  Even at that, working hard wasn't always going to cut it either.  You had to be good.  You had to perform at a higher level than those around you.  The coaches did not care if your feelings got hurt, they wanted to win.  They wanted the best players out there playing and if you weren't good enough you either sat there or you got in at the end of a game if it was a blow out.  Now the coaches, through the urging or ruling of whatever league, have to give everyone a certain amount of playing time.  Even the kid who can't run 5 yards without getting winded gets in the game now.  None of the kids have to earn anything because they know they will get to play anyway.  It is dumbing down the competiton gene in kids.  They don't even try because "What's the point?"  Some leagues even have games set up where they don't keep score and there is no winner.  Everyone is a winner, everyone gets a "participation" trophy, there are no MVPs or Outstanding players.  It makes our kids soft.  Now, I don't think that our kids should be hardcore gangsters that will cut you for a position but I think they should at least have to earn it.  I remember getting a trophy back then was a big deal, you got a sense of pride and if someone won a trophy over you then it gave you more of a drive to go out and get it done the next time.  This is one lie that would be fine with me if it was brought back.

There is one more major lie that I can think of right off hand and it is so huge that it is almost inconcievable to me now:  If you work hard, you can be anything you want to be.  I know this sounds negative but do you really think that little Bobby from Blountville who has a drunk father and a lazy mom is going to be President of the Unitied States if he wants it bad enough?  No!  There are limitations for some kids and we should accept these limitations and steer them in a direction that they won't be completely disappointed in.  If your kid is pitch deaf and sounds like Chewbacca when he sings and he tells you that he wants to grow up and be a rockstar.  Be honest and tell him that it ain't happening.  You don't have to be mean about it but give the kid a back up plan or two.  Ask him if the rockstar thing falls through what other things he would like to do.  Perhaps accounting or construction are more in line for him.  Its not going to hurt them, they will thank you for it later.  This lie is not only from the days of yore, but it is still running rampant today, probably even more than ever before.  We all want to pump our kids with self esteem but sometimes they have to be knocked down a notch or two.  If your kid is making terrible grades in math and has a crippling fear of public speaking but still wants to be the President, then you should step in and offer some alternatives that are more in his/her range.  Maybe you could even scare the idea out of him/her.  Tell them all the speeches that they have to give, about all the millions of people they will have to talk to, tell them about doing all the budgeting that has to be done, maybe that will make them change their mind.  Its fine for the Chewbacca kid to sing his heart out in his room, its okay for bad math Bobby to pretend he is the President at home, because we all have our passions but we have to have realistic expectations. 

Parents lie to their kids, its just a universal thing.  Its in the handbook.  We lie about Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny but there comes a point that we reveal the ruse that we have pulled on them.  Kids are getting smarter and we can't pull the same crap on them as our parents did on us.  I told my boys the other day that we didn't hardly ever got water breaks in football and they thought I was insane.  Coaches could never pull that crap over on kids now, but for whatever reason we believed.  So be honest with your kids, give them real expectations, and remember "Water is not going to kill them!!"