Tuesday, July 12, 2011

John Lennon is Vomiting in his Grave.. (aka synth-pop sucks)

I have an iPod.  I have it for the soul reason that I can not stand, for more than 10 seconds, what I hear on "terrestrial" radio without getting sick to my stomach.  I have downloaded all the music that I feel is pertinent, important, and worth a damn on to my iPod to save my ears from being raped by the Black Eyed Peas.  I listen to the Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, and The Doors to avoid being musically assaulted by Katy Perry.  If I want some weird, out there stuff I will listen to Radiohead, The Black Keys, or Pink Floyd so I don't listen to the synthesized drone of that clown Lady Gaga.  I have a wide range of music that I like and enjoy, but what they are producing now is equaled to a dog licking himself.  It feels good to them but the rest of us are disgusted by it. 
I cannot understand why radio stations keep encouraging these talentless hacks to make music.  If I was the head of a record company or a radio station, and Katy Perry came to me with her album, I would throw it at her and tell her to get out of my office.  Maybe I wouldn't be that harsh, maybe I would offer her some career counseling, or refer her to a strip club. 
But, I understand that these companies are trying to make money, so that makes it the fault of the consumers for buying this crap.  And who is it that is buying Lady Gaga, Justin Beiber, and Katy Perry?  Dumb kids that don't know any better, thats who.  Parents aren't paying attention to this and it is causing a cultural decay in our society. The kids hear some catchy synth-pop song on Nickelodeon and they run to their parents, "Ohhh, buy this for me!!  Will you download the new Jelly Pop Girls song for me?!?!?"  And the parents do it.  They don't listen to the crappy quality of the music, they just want their kid to be happy.  Now, I don't know or have any clue what is being sung about in any of these songs, and I don't care.  The lyrics could be vulgar or they could be uplifting, it doesn't make a difference to me, it just all sounds like someone farting on a keyboard.
So my suggestion is this, and this is what I do to my kids:  Force them listen to good tunes.  My kids have an iPod as well, and I told them that I would load it for them.  (Of course I made sure that all the songs were clean and "appropriate")  They were whining, "Well, make sure to put blah, blah, blah on it" and I said "No."  I told them that I was not going to have them listen to some teenager belch into a microphone, have some producer AutoTune it, and then let the guy fart on th keyboard-type of music.  They were going to learn and listen to people who actually played their own instruments, wrote their own songs, had feelings in their words, and who were not devoid of a soul.  I loaded them down with aforementioned Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Led Zepplin, The Doors, the White Stripes, The Black Keys, Radiohead, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Cracker, Tom Petty, Kings of Leon and a list of other acceptable tunes that is too long to type out here.
At first the kids were not real thrilled that I picked out all of their music, they wanted their feel of crap, but after listening for awhile they have now started to enjoy it and are getting into it. 
So I have proven that it can be done, we can save our kids from having to accept the mediocrity of the music that is now being played on the radio.  Get out there and do your part, download some actual music, pull out some of your old archaic CDs (if you have tapes or records that would be even better) and jam it into their ears.  Because right now, as I write this, John Lennon, Kurt Kobain, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, George Harrison, Jim Morrison, and all the other great dead musicians are all vomiting in their graves when the sounds of Katy Perry are wafting down through the dirt into their coffins.

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